Visit
by hellohelloalone
Summary: Yukinostita visits the Hikigaya's.


Hi, this will be my second fic and this is on Yukinon! Enjoy!

* * *

**_Visit_**

It is afterschool when I received a text from Yuigahama-san.

_Hey Yukinon! Hikki's not in school today and I got some work from the teacher to give him, but I can't make it to his place today because Yumiko organised a group hangout. Can you go instead? I left the stuff in the club room. And here's a map of how to get there. Thank you!_

It is a miracle that she didn't insert any of those wield symbols this time…Maybe she was short on time. I could almost imagine Miura-san's frustration with Yuigahama-san tapping on her phone while everyone else had to wait for her. As expected of her.

I pack my bags and head for the Service Club to pick up what I was supposed to deliver to Hikigaya-kun. I wonder if he's doing alright. I guess I'll cancel club activities today. Hospitality for a sick club member has a higher priority.

With that, I left in search for Hikigaya-kun's place.

* * *

By the time I arrived it was already nightfall. I'm surprised that there could be so many twists and turns just to get to Hikigaya-kun's place.

Thinking back, Hikigaya-kun's always been there whenever I had directional problems during hangouts. During both times when we went to buy Yuigahama-san's birthday present and that night of the graduation trip, he was there to lead me. Even though I was supposed to be the one in the front, the one who is supposedly superior in all aspects compared to him. I nearly forgot that the being named Hikigaya Hachiman is also nice.

Mustering up my courage, I press on the door bell. This is my first time going to anyone else's place by myself, let alone a boy's place, so it's quite nerve-racking. By this time of day Komachi-san should already be home, so at least my intrusion wouldn't force Hikigaya-kun from his slumber just to open the door.

Within seconds, I hear a faint "coming!" before the door opened, revealing a Komachi-san dressed in an apron. Perhaps she is currently cooking for her family's dinner.

"Ahh Yukino-san! Welcome welcome! What brings you here?" She began. Komachi-san is obviously very happy to see me visiting Hikigaya-kun, as seen by that hugely bright and cheerful smile on her face. It also somehow felt as though she had been expecting me. Is there something unspoken between the siblings about me? Perhaps it is simply a misunderstanding on my part.

"Yuigahama-san asked me to hand him the work from today's lessons. She herself isn't here as she is out with her friends right now." I explained, trying not to show my own eagerness in visiting him. Of course, this is also because Hikigaya-kun and Yuigahama-san came to visit me the last time I was feeling ill.

"Ohh I see I see. Would you like to come in?" She offered.

I could have said no, but knowing Komachi-san I don't think there is actually much of an option. She is quite the schemer when the situation demands it.

"Then I'll excuse myself for the intrusion." I said, letting out a little sigh as an indicator for her that I give up resistance. However, I couldn't hide the fact that my heart began racing and a warmth crept upon my cheeks. Komachi-san smiled brightly and led me to the living room, where I put down my bags. I took out the materials needed delivering and began to make my way up to Hikigaya-kun's room.

"Komachi-san, which one is Hikigaya-kun's room?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could. Of course, Komachi-san broke into a snicker before telling me it was the first room to the left after going upstairs. I heard her saying "good luck Yukino-san!", but I pretend not to hear. There is nothing worth wishing on my behalf anyways is there?

Lightly knocking before I entered the room, I find Hikigaya-kun neatly tucked into his bed, snoring slightly. This has to be Komachi-san's effort. I doubt Hikigaya-kun has the ability to maintain such decency while asleep. Even when he is widely awake he can have a grotesque smile plastered on his face while he reads his so called 'light novels'. I honestly think he is on the same level as that Zaimo-something-kun.

I silently made my way to his desk next to the bed and put down the stack of hand-outs Yuigahama-san had gathered for him. Deciding to take a closer look at him, I kneeled beside his bed.

I'm sure this face he's making right now is unknown to almost everybody in this world. Contrary to the cold, cynical and snide Hikigaya-kun that everyone is fully aware of, in front of me is a perfectly normal teenage boy resting peacefully in his slumber. His body must be vigorously fighting against whatever germs that have broken through his immune system. One can even call that Hikigaya-germs. No wonder even a barrier wouldn't be able to stop it in its tracks…

The Hikigaya-kun I know is a boy who is tortured by past experiences. Traumatised by various abuses, threats and bullies, those hardships added together one by one to produce the staunch and daunting wall around him for the sake of security. But just as how his barrier had been penetrated by the germs, once his wall has been broken he is quite weak on the inside. On the inside, he is just the same as any other average boy you'd find on the streets.

I think I can finally see just how desperate Hikigaya-kun was when he declared that he wanted something genuine. Everything up to now had been mostly artificial for him – relationships, treatment by other people, and even his way of responding. Everything had to be planned and thoughtout in order to minimise risks and potential threats from all those around him.

There was almost never a genuine motive behind his actions other than self-protection; none of it would have been what he truly desired. On the occasion when he did act in line with his desires, when he reached out despite knowing its futility, he was always mercilessly rejected and cast away by everyone around him. It was perhaps even more difficult than searching for a single hydrogen atom in the depths of the cosmos.

To some respects that is quite similar to my situation, except that for me it had always been to meet others' expectations, whereas he had always been avoiding to be expected of anything. My goal was to satisfy others; his was to keep his head down. The very fact that two outcasts like us were able to meet is a miracle in itself.

Speaking of which, I still haven't apologised to him, let alone mention, about the car accident which took place a whole year ago. We're already Third Years, graduation is imminent as each day passes. Time is something running short at the moment, yet I have not done anything to improve my own pace.

I rejected his desire to be friends with me initially because I truly thought that it was impossible. Us polar opposites would never have worked out. Yet reality tells me otherwise, and I rejected him the second time, simply not wanting to friend-zone him. Once we're friends there are expectations forced onto him, and I don't want that. If I were to do so, I would rather become an indispensable person, as opposed to any common friend.

I continued to stare at him until he showed signs of tossing around on his bed. It looks like he's going to wake up anytime soon. With that in mind, I decided to recede before he finds out about my presence, my intrusion into his private space. After all, he might not be the type to like being intruded without permission.

I stood up from my kneeling position beside his bed. Just before leaving, I noticed a small tub of water right next to me. I looked to his forehead to find the piece of towel on him as one would expect to be on an ill patient. Perhaps I should renew the towel for him. After all, Komachi-san is busy preparing dinner, so it wouldn't be a good idea for her to be dealing with issues on both sides.

Careful not to wake him up, I removed the towel from his forehead and lightly placed it into the tub. Giving it a slight rinse and twist, I put it back on his forehead. He shuffled a bit before stopping once again. This time he faced me directly, although he shouldn't have any idea that I'm here at all.

Now I am truly ready to leave. Quietly, I shut the door behind me and descended the flight of stairs.

Upon bidding farewell to Komachi-san, I left the Hikigaya household and made my way back home.

A smile crept up my face as I headed towards the closest train station. This will be a story that Hikigaya-kun will never know. A story of our proximity.

It would be nice if I could become the genuine thing he is looking for. I, too, might be looking for something genuine as well, and it would be nice if it was in him.


End file.
